souljannoying:

one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond

(Source: pemsylvania, via liquidmeth)

me: *wakes up*
me: wheres my phone
me: *rips off blankets*
me: *hears loud thud*
me: there it is

meladoodle:

me after sex: hey how much xp did i just earn

(Source: meladoodle, via herooflife)

tofftoffgalinda:

I’m not ashamed to admit that there is very little I wouldn’t do for free musical tickets.

(via frozen--hearts)